From the time I was four years old and going to my first ballet class this question has caused stress.  Even today as a professional dancer in my thirties, I still have to go through a mental and emotional obstacle course every time I consider missing class or not working in the studio. 

Here I sit, at my desk with my neck aching and sore from taking a Sunday nap with my daughter sleeping on my shoulder. The pain in my neck is a chronic concern and I know how quickly it can turn into an excruciating episode. In addition, I am prepping for a medical procedure so I am only allowed clear liquids today— but I have flamenco class this afternoon and I didn’t get into the studio yesterday either.  What to do? What to do?

I decided that I would put some research behind the guilt instead of just calling my mom and asking her for “permission” to miss class.  (Yes, that is still a thing I do).  I have done the googling for you.  Here is what I have distilled from various fitness blogs and doctors on the Today Show.

1. Am I going to miss important material? How hard will it be for me to catch up?

If you are in crunch time learning rep for a piece or you are not going to be able to learn the new material, consider heading to class, but watching. Never, ever underestimate the value of watching your fellow company members or classmates dance.  Of course, if you are potentially contagious, shelve this idea and stay home.  If you are virtual, consider watching and recording class to do when you are feeling better. 

2. Am I sleep deprived?

The experts sat that sleep deprivation is a VERY good reason to skip your workout or class.  Think about the past week, have you been sleeping enough?  Is your body better served by taking a nap instead of dancing? Sleep deprivation weakens our systems.  It makes you less capable of remembering material and more susceptible to injury.  If you are sleep deprived.  Rest. 

3. Am I injured or just sore?

Most dancers know that class the day after a really intense class is a complex mix of joy and pain.  Feeling sore and getting back to it can be a great remedy, but if you are injured, you need to rest.  The more you push your body when it is trying to recover can increase the time it takes your body to recover permanently.  Make sure you respect your body.  Again, if you are injured, rest.  Any dancer over 35 is probably thinking nostalgically of the days when we could really push ourselves through the pain and get the job done. Bodies change, bodies need more care as they age. If you are feeling something more acute than just muscle soreness, it is probably a good idea to rest.  Maybe do some yoga, or a gentler practice. If you are a flamenco dancer, maybe some gentle braceo and marcajes instead of demanding footwork.  If you have a recurring injury that is flaring, take it easy.

4. Which choice is going to serve future me better: Rest or Action?

Sometimes we are just feeling tired and unmotivated and we need to draw up our well of discipline and push ourselves into the studio.  Future You will thank you because afterwards your body will feel energized and you will be proud of yourself for Doing the Thing. Other times, Future You will question Past You’s choice and say, why did I do that, I just feel worse? My suggestion is to sit quietly, maybe even lay down for five minutes and ask yourself this question. If you listen quietly, you will hear an answer.  Honor it. If that doesn’t work, start getting ready to dance, pay attention to how your body responds. Is it getting energized by the ritual of preparing to dance? Or is it sending signals that this isn’t the right choice?  Sometimes, when I am just tired telling myself I am just going to spend 10 minutes dancing is all I need and an hour later I am feeling energized and proud.  Other times, after five minutes of dancing my body is screaming, “not today!” 

Part of our dance training is learning how to be resilient, learning how to push ourselves to our limits and how to override our inhibitions, but that can cause us to ignore the truth that our bodies need loving care in order to be able to endure many years of dance.  As a dancer who is dealing with the repercussions of pushing my body—bone spurs, chronic pain and the seemingly permanent misalignment of favoring muscle weakness (welcome to the world of an aging dancer!), I wish I could turn back the clock and take better care of myself.  I wish I could help my younger self stand up to dance teachers who made me feel guilty for trying to honor my body instead of pushing through and causing injury.

You are the only person living in your body and you are the person who is going to be stuck in this body until the day you aren’t.  Only YOU can answer these questions.  Honor your body and honor yourself.  Respect your class, your teacher and your company too.  But remember, the only one who can take care of your body is you.  Just as much as dance training is to push our bodies to their limit, dancing is also about developing your relationship with your instrument (your BODY) and learning all its secrets in order to ENJOY moving more.  Only when we enjoy our movement do we succeed. Everything else is frustration and stress. The audience enjoys watching you dance because YOU enjoy dancing. Push yourself, but honor yourself too. Find the line, find the balance between the work and the rest.